As I thought about this year, resilience is the word that comes to mind over and over again. As entrepreneurs, parents, humans, we’ve all had to adapt and grow in order to thrive. For some, it’s been significantly harder than others, and that’s why I’m so insanely pleased to welcome my dear friend, Amanda Archibald, to the blog this month.
Amanda is the ultimate phoenix, rising from the ashes countless times to rebuild and thrive. Her reflections in today’s post are a testament to the power of dedication and what hope and a truly positive spirit can bring… even in the face of great loss.
Enjoy and be inspired.
I have found that self-employment is a recreating of yourself over and over as you sluff off the negative mindsets, scarcity, and pride in order to cultivate growth through personal development, self-honor, and constant work on your inner self talk. Breaking through limiting beliefs at each level is an absolute must. The ones not willing to dig deep, eventually crash and burn out pretty quickly. As we set and strive for goals that are out of our comfort zones, we have to build ourselves up enough to break through that joy ceiling at each level. It is exhausting and empowering all at the same time. The quality of input that you have will make or break you, in my opinion. If it is true that you are similar to the closest 5 people to you, then making sure those people have the qualities you want to be is critical. Remember, one of those people is your inner self talk speaking the loudest. My attitude and stance is absolutely in my control, and it seeps into all aspects of my businesses, family, and personal life. I have found the most peaceful and content aspects of my life have been when I have a quality balance of self-honor/quiet time, reading, giving back and supporting others, encouraging and bringing value and uninterrupted blocked/protected family time. I quite literally block out those times, and it helps me say “no” easily to major distractions.
I was a personal development seminar photographer for 15 years and watched humans over and over be put to the test to see what was truly at their core. If you haven’t done experiential learning, I highly recommend it. It is the best feedback you’ll ever get about how you are showing up to others and the world at large. Through my lens, I watched people dig deep, set goals, and either crush it or sabotage themselves.
They say, “if your intention is clear, the mechanism will appear.” I have seen that when my intention is clear, I will do whatever it takes to complete that goal. But when intention is to “be right,” I know I don’t deserve the goal. You will absolutely create whatever your intention is. Ouch, I know. I have done both as well. In fact, I know if I don’t set up accountability then I actually don’t want the goal. Under accountability, I have created and achieved some crazy goals, and I’m going to share some with you in hopes that it will inspire you to set your own intentions and goals and go after them.
I wrote and published a book, created and paid off $60K of debt in 10 weeks, built my seminar photography business from scratch to $150k sales the last year I was there, manifested a $2M piece of land/acquired an investor and got the business off the ground. That last one was a 7-year intention and you better believe I was sick of talking about it about year 5.
Guess what? After putting in 60-hour weeks of blood, sweat and tears, we lost it all. In 2018, through massive turmoil with the powers in charge, even the death of my step father (investor’s best friend), we were commanded to leave. We had to shut down the business and cancel $800K worth of contracts sold to clients for the upcoming year. It was devastating, demeaning, and dream killing. It was the biggest betrayal of my life. Without the gory details, my husband at the time was highly involved with the poor communication between all parties. We moved quickly and one day, he left me a note and went back to the ranch. I tell you this because I want you to know, whatever you have gone through in your life, it has made you who you are today. I am just now to the place where I want to create again. I’m excited for life and sharing my value with others. How did I get back to a healed place? Forgiveness and coming to the empowering place that I am exactly here right now because of all my choices. Read that again.
I want to leave you with the greatest tools that helped me pick up my pride and creativity and recreate myself again.
- You have to abolish negative self-talk. You would NEVER hang out with that girl in your head. She is cruel and mean.
- Every time you’re out of your comfort zone, know that self-sabotage is around the corner. Be aware of it and cut it off. It’s actually way more comfortable to be mediocre and not excellent.
- People pleasing and the need for others’ approval has to be killed off. You will never please everyone ever. Strive for excellence, not perfection.
- If you consider yourself an empath or sympathetic/compassionate person, you have to guard your down time fiercely. Don’t create or be the space for people to “dump” all hours of the day. This is a form of sabotage. If you can focus on all the in justices in the world, how people aren’t doing what you expect, and stay in chaos and unforgiveness, you don’t have to do your goal or what you’ve been called to do in your lifetime. You’ll either do it or make excuses.
Let me leave you with one last learning. If there was something I saw in the seminar room that took people out every time… it was lack of integrity. Your word is all you have, and a lot of times you don’t even keep it with yourself. Even the smallest thing can snowball into the mass destruction of many huge things and take out your relationships and your motivation to keep going. Again, another form of sabotage. Keep short accounts with those around you. If you have a conviction or something feels off, make it right. Have the conversation. We called that “clearing” in the seminar room. You clear off all things, so that you can function at a high level. If old childhood stuff came up for you when you read that, dive into and do the hard work on yourself.
You are worth it, you are worthy and the world is waiting for you!! Rise up!
I want to leave you with my favorite quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”